So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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