I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
