Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
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