She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
