But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
