dude i'm inner monologue high
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
