I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
