so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
