I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
