I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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