My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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