We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
