Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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