We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize