Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
