That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
