Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
