Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
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It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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