"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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