I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
