guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
