that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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