lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my being single is dangerous.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
