But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
this beer tastes like vomit already
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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