I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize