I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I believe in your delicious
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
