I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
