Don't you send me to vm
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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