She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly