I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
