...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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