i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You ruined the universe
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
