at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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