i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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