I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
