I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
