Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
