i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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