would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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