It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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