Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
