There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
