Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
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Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize