butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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