i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
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Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
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She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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