I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
