My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
