you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
