You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
