Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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