Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
