Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
