Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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