When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
